Yes. I am supposed to be a food blogger, but I have rarely been talking about food lately.
Yes. I am writing this instead of doing my homework.
And yes. We haven’t talked in a long time Holly. I’ve been really busy, and I bet you have been as well. I hope your grandma is doing well and I hate you because it’s cold here and you’re probably on the beach half the time (or running away from alligators and trump supporters because isn’t that the entirety of Florida?) It’s been a long time since the moment I thought of writing this to actually getting around to it, but here it goes.
I miss you
I don’t mean to make this about me, but you are about the most constant thing in my life and I miss you all the time. When I was made fun of in middle school by my other friends, you stayed by my side no matter how fucking weird I was (and still am). We walked to Tratorias (a local pizza shop where the owner definitely thought we were a lesbian couple, nothing wrong with that) to eat and do homework every day of our sophomore year. The two of us got into Harry Potter WAY later than everyone else, and you put up with me never shutting the fuck up about Spain the first time I went. We went through many spirit weeks, homecomings, proms, parties, and reaaalllllyyyyy strange nights bumping Juicy-J in the car while driving around doing nothing (what can you really do in the suburbs at 17 years old).
Do you remember when we used to watch Doctor Who all night, get milkshakes, or when we used to *play* soccer on the football field and pretend like we were staring in the World Cup? Or when we would spend hours in the library at our community college messaging each other stupid photos on Facebook instead of actually doing work? What about the days we would hike and nearly get lost and die except we were probably only 10 minutes away from home? How about Halloween when we dressed up together as literally the same person? (If you haven’t watched Doctor Who, gtfo, get woke, and read this all over again)
I’m being too nostalgic, I know. I’m like an old woman recounting her good days to her house full of cats (totally not my future….)
I know I disappoint you because I make bad decisions; kiss boys I shouldn’t, and tell awful jokes that make you cringe every time. I realize I should make an effort more to actually tell you this in person but here it is right now (and I can’t make any promises to do anything on time, you know who I am as a person and it’s just not possible).
Things haven’t necessarily been easy, and you know that. My home, my college, friends, boyfriends, area of study, career choice, plans in life in general, understanding of the universe?!?! , my writing ability (whattttt) have all changed; hopefully for the better. Sometimes, I feel like I’ve changed completely over, maybe even a few times. I wish you were here right now so I could tell you all about how my life got twist turned upside down….. no? not funny? Honestly, I can never tell if the change is for the better until I see you. It’s quite possible you feel the same way. Life is funny that way, but I will tell you one thing;
I will never change so much to the point where you’re not my best friend. It’s just not possible.
I have never met anyone so brave, unique, and honest to who she is as a person, and no matter how we both change, I’ll respect you forever because of it. Not only that, but you’re just an amazingly understanding and patient person. You’ve been there for me through some of the most difficult times in my life and made me feel like there was a future when it seemed like there was nothing but darkness. I love you Holly and sometimes I wish we were both born liking vagina because we would be perfect wives together, but I’m so happy to have you as my best friend.
Please come home soon.