Obviously, since I’m posting this late at night, it appears I’m in my feels (and fair, this is true). But I’d like to stress that what I’m going to say is driven by exhaustion and frustration over a long period of time (you’re probably thinking, let’s get to the point already, dish the drama).
Don’t waste your time
I don’t pretend to be a therapist or life coach or whatever the hell people call themselves to motivate people. I want to be a relatable voice for those of us that feel like “yeah, I really don’t want waste another damn moment doing [ insert dumb crap here ].” I hear you 100%.
SOOOO….Isn’t that one of the hardest things to do though? ABSOLUTELY. If you’ve ever sat there on your phone for a disgusting amount of time watching slime videos on Instagram or in a store only to come out with not a single item purchased (me… all the time, just the essence of past me), then please listen. To every other perfect being out there, I guess just read and laugh at my misfortunes and idiocracy.
Your time is so valuable, and some of you reading this are worth so much more than what you are valuing your time on this earth to be. Let me just give you a few examples please from my life…
At the beginning of 2017, I went to Honduras (shocking right? I never stfu about Spain, but I’ve been to other places). Before leaving, I had a string of bad things happen at home that soured my mood, but also made me feel more confused in my life than I had been in a long time. I was only in the country for two weeks, building a school for children who needed access to education in their village. Instead of hanging out with the countless people from my school that came on the trip with me, I retracted from social surroundings and generally didn’t act like myself. I spent a lot of time alone, or messaging people from home (love you mom, thanks for listening to me complain all the time). It was one of my biggest regrets; it was situational, but I wasted my valuable time where I could have made life-long friends. I didn’t push myself to think about the ephemeral nature of the trip and experience. I’m not saying people who are introverted should feel bad about not taking advantage of social encounters by the way. Whatever you find that makes you happy, that’s how you should spend your time! Here though, I was so unhappy with how I retracted, and I’m still saddened by it.
I had a Tinder a little while back (OH NO HERE WE GO). It was a pretty impressive profile, not going to lie of hype it but I thought I was killing it. Anyway, I would sit there for (god only knows how long, but very long) long periods of time, just swiping, sometimes laughing, sometimes on the verge of giving up on humanity from the responses I would get. At first, it was just fun, and I went on a few interesting (aka shitty) dates. There were a few times when I genuinely thought I liked a guy, only to be ghosted or realize their online persona was so far from reality they might as well have just been an imaginary friend I made up. I kept going though. WHY? I was bored. I began valuing my time as SO MUCH LESS than it’s worth.
GIVING TOO MUCH
Even if you don’t know me, you may be able to tell how “extra” I am from my blog, meaning I am an extremes kind of person. I love enthusiasm, when people are incredibly into something and they aren’t afraid to show it. A part of me is romantic in this sense, because I also participate in this deep loving of ideas, as well as culture, but also people. I find myself falling in love with peoples’ personalities and ways in which they live their lives quite quickly, forming deep connections with friends who feel the same way. On the other hand though, the connections sometimes are deep to me, but shallow to the opposing parties. It’s as if I’m acting as a best friend or a girlfriend, when in reality the other person will never reciprocate in this same way. In those situations, I’ll always give more than I’ll ever receive, leading to a feeling of stupidity, even a broken heart in rare cases. I don’t regret being a hopeless romantic, basically Hozier in Someone New, but I think it’s a huge waste of my time to give so much for so little, if anything, in return.
I’m a very passionate person, about a lot of (I think) very interesting things. There were so many other, productive AND life-fulfilling things I could have been doing. I’m not saying every moment of my life needs to be like that, but I wasn’t happy! None of that stupid time spent made me calmer or happier, or even less bored. And in regards to the first story in Honduras, I was unhappy, and I wasted my time by just continuing to be unhappy when I could have pushed myself to find that contentment.
So I guess what I’m saying is, if it’s not making you happy, and it’s not worth your time, ask yourself “Why the f*ck am I doing this?” Tell yourself not to waste your damn time. You don’t have to be one of those crazy, extreme people who live on the edge of life and always feel like they need to be happy and enjoy EVERYTHING.
HOW TO NOT WASTE YOUR DAMN TIME
- I heard this idea recently on The Daily podcast by the New York Times (link here, listen to March 6th, 2018). Make a list of things that you like in your life, that make you happy. Then, make a list on the same sheet of paper of the things you hate that you are doing. Now, the hard part… Write what you’re going to do about it. If you have a passion or purpose, dive deeper into it. Lost and confused? Find some purpose, something that you can do to make this world (or even just your world) a better place. Volunteer at a local food bank, advocate for an issue by calling your elected officials, make a plan to eat healthier and more sustainably (shameless plug for my recipes). The most important thing you can do is recognize what it is that needs to change.
- Delete your social media from your phone for a week. LET ME TELL YOU, this worked for me 1509348%, because I was fully aware of my addiction to Snapchat and Instagram and dumb ass Facebook stories. It all was a waste of my damn time. Make sure to list though what you’ll do with that free time you now have without social media. Will you read a book? Do homework? Practice learning a new language?! Possibilities are endless my loves.
You may not need ANY of this advice, and who am I to be giving it? Honestly, I’m just a senior about to graduate from college without a clue what to do. I just want you to know that there’s someone you can relate to, there are solutions to your problems, and you don’t need to be a sophisticated adult to figure this shit out.